Monday, Monday

Yesterday started out as a pretty brutal day. I was alone with eight children, three of whom were crying babies looking for attention. NOT FUN. But then the most lovely twins in the world (a boy and a girl, just over 1 year old) came in and made my day a lot better.

Then, came time for work. A 330-1130 shift that I was NOT looking forward to, but was pleasantly surprised at the very end of my first 15 minute break to run into a very old friend. Alex Heywood, aka the love of my thirteen year old self's life. I haven't seen Alex in about three years - the last time I saw him was either right after I got back from my first year in England, or the night before I left for that year abroad. Either way, it's been ages! (Actually, I saw him from afar in early 2006 downtown, but wasn't close enough to actually say hello). Anyway, it was so good and surprising to see him that I couldn't get the stupid smile off of my face the rest of the night. It's amazing what an old friend can do.

THEN, I came home to a few really great emails from friends in England, all indicating that we WILL be seeing each other in January/February, so things are looking good.

Tonight I'm doing some more Christmas shopping - have an idea in my mind for my dad and one for my mum. Hopefully somewhere along the way I'll find something else for Scott.

I tried to find a photo of my thirteen year old self to post, but as I could not find it here is one of me circa 1984 instead.

a long sunday evening

tonight i went to the annual staff meeting at work. we laughed, we learned, we ate fruit and veggies, we ran around the store, we got gift cards and i realised that i am going to enjoy my two months at this job very much. i find out on tuesday which section they are slotting me in and on thursday i will be celebrating my 25.5th birthday with mr. jamie oliver.... yummmm. more on that later, because i have no idea what i'll be doing the night that my favourite english kitchen stud graces our store with his presence. hopefully, i won't be stuck downstairs while all the ladies swoon over him upstairs.

i am going back to volunteering tomorrow morning after another four days of baby-free life. honestly, last wednesday was the WORST experience that i have had in a long time, and certainly not helping me to want to volunteer on wednesdays. (for reasons that i won't state here, mondays are infinitely better than wednesdays at the gym).

i've been bad with working out lately - i only went once last week, but the plan that scott and i are on includes some home exercise, namely sit ups for me, and i've been good about doing those, so yay. if i can get to sleep before 2am i will likely have the energy to work out directly after babysitting tomorrow, if not it will have to be a night visit to the gym. we shall see.

below is a photo of me circa may 2003. me at 21. not only do i miss having a slimmer face, i also miss having my hair ridiculously long.

happy halloween

this morning at child minding i was placed in the centre of a very scary scene: me surrounded by 10 children. ugh. i'm allowed to turn the non-members away when it's really busy, but i am fairly certain that all of the kids except for one (who slept the whole time anyway) were members.... blugh. babies are cute, but wow i don't think i can keep doing this for free. it takes too much out of me physically to be happy and entertaining for three hours straight (especially when i am left alone without a staff member working!) and is keeping me from getting a proper 9-5, monday-friday, well-paying job. it's mostly fun, but when there are two babies screaming in my ears at once and no mother in sight it's just a little bit scary.

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tonight i'm going to see a screening of AMERICAN GANGSTER with my brother. i love a free movie, especially when it's one i'd planned on seeing anyway, but i sort of wish it wasn't tonight. i enjoy handing out candy to the kids in my neighbourhood, and i really enjoy trick-or-treating at my neighbour's house. yes, i still do it at 25.

ok, nothing more to say right now. will update about the movie later and i'm going to see a screening of JUNO tomorrow night - also one i really want to see, so yay!

happy halloween!

operation get me out of here: update

i stopped by one of my local pubs today to fill out an application and drop off my resume. working at a pub was a major part of my big plan, because tips in toronto are oh-so-generous if you have a friendly smile and always remember to say "i'm so sorry" when you spill something... anyway, after standing in that particular pub today, surrounded by the dullness of a friday afternoon at a pub in north toronto, i realised that is not the place for me. halfway through filling out an application for a job that may or may not even become available before january ("yea, people are coming and going all the time" according to the bartender), i told him i'd bring it back in another day once i had all the phone numbers for my references sorted.

truth: i will not be bringing it back in another day.

so, i'm back to the drawing board. well, not really. i'm still looking for a job. did i mention that i went to a staffing agency the other day and apparently made a good impression because i got a call from them that afternoon with a job for the following day. unfortunately i couldn't do it because of volunteering at the gym.

speaking of which... if i want a proper job i won't be able to volunteer anymore. if i can't volunteer anymore, i won't have a free membership to the gym. if i don't have a free membership anymore i will have to pay for one and that means signing some sort of lengthy contract which i am not too thrilled about doing. signing a lengthy contract could potentially mean me staying in toronto much, much longer than planned. and by 'much much' i mean a few extra months. BUT if i stay with things the way they are now, volunteering, working out for free, and no job, i won't have the money to get back to england - EVER!

i think the realistic goal for the big move is may/june. the vacation in january is still on and i'm hoping to make it last 3-4 weeks. that way i can make sure i spend enough time with all of the wonderful friends i have over there AND a little time with my family.

and of course, i am looking for a job that does not require me to work beyond 20 january... or one that will let me take a month off after working there only a couple months. sounds good to me.

wishful thinking or realistic goals? you decide.

*sigh*

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in other news:
DAN IN REAL LIFE

certainly worth seeing. family togetherness, lots of love, some dancing, some bowling, and just a feel good sort of movie.

BABIES!

I am unemployed. I am broke. I am BORED

Solution: Volunteer at the gym's child minding centre two days a week for a free membership.

For three hours a day, twice a week, I play with babies. I hold them if they are crying. I make them laugh if they look like they might cry. I give them various toys to distract them from other babies that are crying... basically, I get to hug and play with adorable babies in exchange for a free gym membership. So, the parents are grateful for the help and I get to push myself back into shape - everybody wins.

What I've realised after my first day with the babies is that although I am capable of caring for one right now, I do NOT want one right now. I've just gotten used to putting myself first and having a baby would certainly take that away.

Besides, and here it comes, I want to move back to England - yes, it's true - and I want to start the next chapter of my life there so that I'm not forcing anyone else to relocate with me. So there you have it. The truth comes out.

My friends asked me the other night, "What is your goal for the next 365 days?"
My gut response: "To move back to England."
I'm not sure they were too impressed with that answer but that's how it goes. If my dream job sends me elsewhere that's another story, but for now my sights are set.

In the meantime I am looking for some work here, as I am slowly going broke and really don't know what I'll do if I hit zero dollars. I suppose I'll spend all of my free time at the gym since it's free and gives me something to do other than sit at home on my butt. Could be a very good thing for me come to think of it.

This is an older photo of the West Pier in Brighton - I took it in December 2004 and since I'm feeling a bit nostalgic (again) today though I'd share it with y'all.

My room, my mess

I am not sure anyone can fully understand why I am not yet fully unpacked or fully settled back into my room at home until they've actually seen the state of it. To be fair, it was a lot more tidy on the weekend when there was company in the house, but before that it was a lot more messy.

I am now at the stage where I think I'm willing to just throw everything away to make room for the important things... but really, who can bring themselves to throw away all of the birthday cards and letters from their 18th birthday (and numerous other birthdays/holidays for that matter)?

I just have to get the bookshelf in order so that what is "on display" actually reflects the twenty-five year old version of Renee and not the seventeen year old version.

Speaking of being seventeen, tomorrow Foo Fighters are going to be at the radio station I spent many a groupie day at downtown when I was a wee youngin'. I'm tempted to go, because Dave Grohl is my second favourite front man (special prize to those of you who know who my favourite is - hint, it's a bit of a trick question)... but I may opt to avoid the crowds and listen to it on the radio - we shall see if I have any clean clothes to wear (because really, that is what will determine it in the end).

In other news, I signed up to be a volunteer child minder at the gym around the corner. What does this mean? Well, it means that for three hours twice a week I will be playing with children aged 6 months to 12 years old all in return for a free membership (with perks!) to the gym. Good deal so far... I start Monday and will let you know how it goes.