Life is, actually, good.

Life at the moment is not what I thought it would be on October 1 2008. A year ago I was moaning about being home and had promised myself that no matter what I would be in England again by the end of September 2008. That didn't work out, but such is life, and here I am.

I won't bore you with hours and hours (or should I say, lines and lines) of my negativity today, but I will say that I am pretty bummed that things haven't worked out for me yet, but I am optimistic that they will.

For I still believe everything happens for a reason - maybe I didn't get my UK visa just yet because the ideal job for me is going to magically appear on the London job sites in December not October. And maybe I didn't get my UK visa just yet because I am destined to win the lottery here in Ontario sometime during the month of October 2008. And maybe I didn't get my UK visa just yet because my family and friends need just a little bit more love and support from me at the moment and I can't selfishly run away just yet.

Recently, a friend of mine was in town because her mother was having major surgery. If I'd gotten my UK visa I wouldn't have been here to keep her company, to hang out and catch up with her or to see her mother and know that everything went really well.

One of my very best friends has an important job interview tomorrow and is moving in with her boyfriend this weekend - both really big things in her life right now, and if I'd gotten my UK visa I wouldn't be here to cheer her on and toast a glass of wine to her happiness in her new home.

I haven't seen my grandmother since last October and though she is doing well, in good health and in good spirits, she recently turned 85 and if I'd gotten my UK visa I wouldn't be able to go spend the upcoming long weekend with her to celebrate the amazing family that I have because of her.

If I'd gotten my UK visa I would've missed watching the baseball postseason on TV with my dad, I would've missed everyone getting excited about the start of hockey season, I would've missed sweater weather in Toronto, I would've missed seeing my dear friend Liz on her vacation home, I would've missed the grand opening of the Banana Republic outlet at Vaughan Mills, I would've missed my parents' anniversary, my dear friend's birthday, and many other things that October brings.

So here I am, two days after receiving really disappointing news and focusing on the good things. October should be a good month and at the end of it I will go through the visa application hell all over again - unfortunately one of my very best friends and one of the most important people in my life, won't be here to hold my hand this time. He'll be somewhere in Argentina finding himself... for which I am very proud of him.